Musing as I knit... letting go of a bad attitude

Monday's Muse from MaternalSpark

This photo is G, in the made-to-order FitKnits top. She wore it in Nia class this morning, and looked beautiful. She's such a joyful spirit. I've made a scarf with leftover yarn too. I am really enjoying my growing business!


Thinking as I knit (inspired by the knowledge that my anger creates dis-ease).

It is amazing the thoughts that one will believe in order to keep oneself bigger than life. I have had recent reason to take a good look at my attitude about life. I have been very angry about many injustices - the 'role' of women (even the phrase makes me cringe), let's face it: my role as a woman, what society accepts and doesn't, insensitivity, greed, and selfishness in powerful places... etc.

But, as my wise husband pointed out (after the train of thought brought us to many wild, wondrous, painful, and quiet places) it all comes down to pride.

The very thing that makes me angry in others, I am using to keep myself stuck in that anger. The pride that says the world should be the way I want it to be.

It is not that way. It is not that way for anybody.

Sigh (head down, tail between the legs). OK.



Can I just accept it all as what IS?



I'd love to hear from those who read this... What are your thoughts about the role of women, in society, in the home, in social connections, in anything? Are you satisfied with the way you are defined as a woman? Are you resigned to accepting it as it IS? If you are, I'd love to know how. This is a sticking point for me, which causes me and my family much strife.

What do you think, ladies?

Pictures not shown to protect the innocent

PLAY... Inspired by the Carnival of Play at PhD in Parenting. Thanks to Maternal Spark for the heads up! Go to both sites, check it out! Welcome those who come from either of those fabulous sites!

I went to a workshop in Chicago, several years ago. It was about Comedy Improv- which was a favorite subject of mine. It was soooo much fun! I laughed the whole time. This wasn't good for my stage presence, but the instructor said that it meant that I was 'in the moment,' which was good!

IN THE MOMENT, indeed. That's where we need to be to be playful, for sure. That's where our kids are - always. I think about my mostly pre-verbal toddler, experiencing the world as full of sensation and presence. I refer to my 7 year old as a force-of-nature, because he cannot be tamed. My living room furniture suffers, but his spirit is so strong. I love that about him.

My husband has that same silly spark of life, which comes out to play when other things get out of the way. He's been known to kick his feet in the air behind him to the music of silly commercials, and wrap his lower half with blankets in a diaper-like fashion (this in the hotel room in Memphis only a few weeks ago). It was delicious to see him so fully enjoying himself. It was not flattering, but it was immensely attractive... if you know what I mean.

When I can erase the habitual patterns of my misimpressioned youth, and shine a light on NOW... I can play play play with the best of them. Of course NIA is full of play. I love teaching Nia. Its like a little stage and creative outlet for all that I am. Plus, I get to share that opportunity to let loose and explore and express with my friends who join me in class. Truely a privilege to work while I play, and play while I work. I get to create coreography that expresses not only what I hear in the music that I love, but also what I feel. Blessed. Truely blessed.

As if my life could stand any more fun, I knit and crochet and bead and embroider obsessively... but it is a joyful obsession - especially when the pressure is off and I do it for the pure enjoyment of the quiet repetitive soft progress. It's not your typical definition of play, but to me it is just as fun. It's where my sould goes to rest. Everybody needs a little bit of that.

Play on my sweets!

knitty gritty

Once again, the kitty is drawn to the knitty (heh, I mean the knitting...)



This is the beginning, or about half of the shirt I am making for a fellow Nia dancer in my class. Close up of the added ladder yarn at the bottom, which looks really nice. The colors are a bit brighter in real life, and not in my darkened living room.

Things that I think while I knit: I wonder how much of my theories have become excuses, and vice versa. I have a theory that women have the potential to be, and most often are, in touch with a deeply felt (not necessarily understood or explainable) knowledge of what it takes to make a life full and complete - nurtured, you might say. I think that women know, and act accordingly, when those needs are not fulfilled for themselves and those in their care. I also feel that this modern society of the US really lacks the depth to provide for such things, and therefore - women suffer. Now, is this just an excuse to eat Ben and Jerry's? I ask you?

Today, someone asked me if I was pregnant. Nope. Just a belly. But I have my theories.


Anyhoo...

Check out the Spirit of Nia Tour video. I'm in there wearing a purple shirt and black pants, but you'd have to know where to look. It was an awesome time. This is where that joyous picture of the earlier post was taken too! It was much fun.