Boy oh boy, when you focus on something - like forgiveness - things just pop up in front of you all over the place! I had a rough day of it. Forgiving myself for being so slow to forgive at times! I realize there are grudges being held in me. Some should surely be released - but are holding on and waiting for... what? an apology? understanding?, but the trickier ones are things that keep happening... and don't seem to have an easy solution. Is it just that I am staying with this self concept of 'victim' or 'martyr?' Could I not just accept that it is my responsibility to wake up through the night to care for our baby? Or, is it just that the months drag on and on, and a glimpse of a better night's sleep turns into just a fluke and a tease?
I've been trying to give up 'snarkiness,' sarcasm, complaining. But, I must say, I am frustrated with certain chronic annoyances that cycle and feed into themselves. Lack of sleep, low immune system, chronic inflammation of the cornea of my left eye. What would Louise L Hay say?
BREAK THE CYCLE!!!!! but HOW??? Change my thoughts and I change my life.
The change that is required is probably something around humility. It's a life theme of mine, I do believe. The humble mother, who must set aside so many things, for the good of the family.
I need a vacation.
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1 comment:
As a wife and Mother you can never win, what ever you give it never seems enough,life is hard when they are young but time does fly very fast
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